This simple phrase will stop kids whining and motivate them to help

Do you want a phrase that will encourage your kids to help each other and you? It would be great if you didn't have to nag them or do it yourself because you were frustrated by their procrastination.

Based on their actions, here is what you say:

You (what they did ), so (how it helped/impact). That was so helpful!

The phrase explains what they did, how it helped and told them they contributed to making your home a better place.

For example:

“You hugged your brother after he got hurt so that he would feel better. That was so helpful!”

“You brought your plates to the sink so mum could wash them. That was so helpful!”

“You followed directions without complaining, so we were done faster, and everyone is happy. That was so helpful!”

“You put away your toys so that no one trips on them. Plus, it’s made the room look so lovely. That was so helpful!

It seems so simple, yet it is very effective. Here’s why.

How It Helps Your Child

This shows the child that you are paying attention to what they do well. This makes them feel good, making them want to be caught for helpful behaviour more often.

It boosts self-esteem. This phrase emphasises the consequences of their actions to show them the positive effects they can have on the people and things around them. They realise the power of their actions.

This shows kids that helping gets them favourable attention than whining. The desire to be noticed and praised is strong in kids. It gives them both while instilling a sense of helpfulness in them.

How It Helps You

It gets you noticing good behaviour instead of focusing on bad.

Over time, you will have significantly less whining in your home.

It is common for stressed-out mothers to be more focused on their children's poor behaviour than their good behaviour. Unless we make a conscious effort, bad behaviour often works better at catching our attention! You may not notice your children playing nicely together, but the minute conflict arises, you raise your voice for them to stop.

Related: Free printable age-appropriate chore chart

What You Notice About Your Child's Behavior, You Get More Of.

Notice the bad, get more of it. Notice the good, and your child will work hard to get recognised for the good they are doing.

Imagine how you’d feel or react if your spouse came home and the first things they said were criticisms about the state of the house? All the while ignoring the dinner you made while trying to keep the kids engaged in healthy activities.

We don't feel good when someone points out our flaws while ignoring our positive efforts. Conversely, we feel encouraged when we hear what we are doing well.

Kids are the same way.

Keeping your eyes peeled for helpful behaviour and then pointing it out to your child will result in your child looking for ways to be helpful.

Long-lasting results will come with consistently using the phrase. The more you notice good behaviour in your child, the more likely they will see how their helpful actions impact them.

Try this phrase out and see what happens in your family.

Hope Channel Singapore's articles are written after analysing research works by expert authors and institutions. Among our references are resources established by authorities in their fields.

References: Becky A. Bailey, Ph.D, Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline: The 7 Basic Skills for Turning Conflict into Cooperation www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/6632.Easy_to_Love_Difficult_to_Discipline